The Oracle Paradox
by ZutarianNaiad
Summary: Innocence is not a characteristic which typically applies to a Goblin King. So what happens when he makes one basically innocent visit to an oracle? He gets himself into a world of trouble.


The Oracle Paradox

Very few things associated with the sentence "The Goblin King was…" were by nature good. Endings commonly associated with that sentence were "infamous," "most decidedly up to no good," "mischievous," "possibly incapable of maintaining a good relationship with his neighbors for more than two moon cycles," and "devious." A number of his neighbors had files on Jareth recording instances of these character traits rearing their most unattractive heads. These files also held a number of words that applied to exactly what Jareth was not. Most started with the same few words. "Jareth is not—innocent, innocently interested in my daughter, innocently strolling along in her garden, innocently bumping into selfsame daughter, [cross-reference 'Jareth is'], or in any wise welcome at my manor as long as there is dust to bear witness to this oath." One started with "Jareth is not able to carry a tune in a basket, much less dance to such a tune, or able to dress properly, or able to find a hairstyle befitting a king in the Underground," but most regarded that as simple jealousy of the Goblin King and bitterness against Jareth's twofaced treatment of his daughter.

That said, Jareth was not really "innocently minding his own business" when he found himself in love. He was not "innocently popping by Delphi's residence for a short visit." He was visiting the oracle to see if visiting a certain mutual acquaintance of a woman he had scorned would end in disaster. He tried not to make a habit of visiting Delphi—he distrusted her, and she disliked him—but the meeting with the mutual acquaintance promised to be very profitable, if a certain woman scorned did not rain the wrath of Hades upon his head. And the wrath of Hades would certainly put a crimp in his social schedule. So Jareth, as innocently as any Goblin King could manage (consequently not very innocently at all), visited Delphi. She was busy at the moment of his arrival—most likely preparing to look into his future—so Jareth waited. And became quite bored. His usual habits when he was bored were entertaining himself by way of making life miserable for goblins (which were really too stupid to notice they were miserable), singing, or sending goblins to harass Abovegrounders. None of these really fit the situation, so he walked off to Delphi's seeing room. Spying on a three thousand year old spirit of prophesy didn't seem only rude, but also hazardous, so he guessed simply showing up when he was going to pay for a look into his future anyway wouldn't be too damaging. So, Jareth reasoned, what he was about to do was perfectly innocent. The notion almost made him laugh.

He pulled back her un-dyed linen curtains and looked around. Delphi herself was sitting by a circular pool at the bottom of the stone chamber and from his vantage point Jareth could clearly see what she was scrying. Delphi's actions were rather boring. She was sitting and watching. Jareth, innocently curious, looked at what held the thousands of years old oracle so raptly.

He saw a woman dancing on the beach. Her long, dark brown hair bore rebellious strands which worked their way loose from her ponytail as the wind snatched at her clothing and tresses. Her thin white caftan did very little to hide her lightly bronzed skin and dark blue undergarments (what did the Abovegrounders call those things? Bikinis?) from the sunlight. Her motion acted in imperfect harmony with the wind coming off the ocean, causing the light linen to rise and fall about her arms and legs. Her movements were free—they were not elegant, and barely graceful, but as she twirled and jumped, her arms moving with all the skill but none of the restraint of a ballerina. The woman was one of the best dancers this _very_ experienced King of Goblins had encountered. She laughed, and nearly sang—Jareth could not hear her voice, though her lips moved with notes and syllables to match her motley, happy movements. Jareth, nearly transfixed with the young woman and her joyful outburst on the sand, did not notice Delphi standing next to him.

"Your Majesty," she said tersely, a thin scowl showing through her veil.

"Oracle," Jareth answered without looking up. A small, blond child threw himself at the woman's knees and she fell to the sand, laughing. Jareth wondered if the woman was the boy's mother.

"…If you don't mind," the ancient spirit said, obviously uncaring as to whether Jareth minded or not. "Leave the girl's future alone."

"What is she to me?" Jareth asked, stroking his chin (he thought the action made him look wise and kingly), honestly curious as the woman and child ran hand in hand to the surf. Once in the water, the small blond boy broke away and began splashing at the woman, who in turn kicked water at the child. Jareth rather appreciated the image of the wet, translucent fabric clinging to the woman's from.

"If I answer, it becomes self-fulfilling prophesy. Bad for business," the oracle answered, still glaring at Jareth.

"Well, I'm rather decided that she's going to become involved somehow, so you might as well tell me. I think the boy looks like me, don't you?" Jareth said casually, looking more intently for features to support his ideas. No significant birthmarks showed, and the child's eyes were a matched light blue.

"No prophesy without prior payment, Goblin King," Delphi answered, her voice becoming short as Jareth wore on her temper. The woman in the scrying pool grabbed the child, laughing, and they twirled in the sand and tide until they fell into the circle of murky water they'd made. They still laughed silently, innocently. Jareth turned his wrist, once to produce a crystal with the image of the woman and child and a second turn to summon a second for the oracle.

"Temple sacrificing service, bronze overlaid with gold. Happy?" he said as Delphi took the crystal and scrutinized it carefully.

"I'd rather have a mirror of polished silver, three cubits by two, and the frame of thyine wood overlaid with gold," Delphi said. Jareth's eyebrow twitched.

"Why thyine wood if it's only going to be overlaid with gold?" he asked, tallying the cost.

"Because I like thyine wood," Delphi answered. "And I name the price."

Jareth leaned back in his chair. "I've already seen her—all I have to do is wait. I don't think I need your riddles-and-lies prophesy." Delphi laughed, which was a bit frightening to hear in the ancient voice of her spirit.

"Fine then, Jareth—wait forever for a woman dressed in timeless clothing, dancing on an ageless beach, when you don't know how old she is, when this will be, whether she is mortal or else, or where that beach is, above or under the horizon." Jareth, having no particular liking for the cryptic speech Delphi was falling into scowled. It was so much harder to twist words when they came already twisted.

"Have your mirror," he said, almost able to actually _feel_ the money draining from his treasury. "Give me my future regarding the girl."

Delphi opened a large, wooden ring on her finger and sparked the leaves inside to smoke. She inhaled and began:

"Spring of life, winter of youth—"

"Hey!" Jareth snapped. "I'll get you your gold and silver, I just want a straight answer."

Delphi, her face still obscured by the veil, certainly scowled. "I don't _do_ straight answers Jareth."

"You want an ermine carpet to go underneath the mirror?" Jareth offered. Delphi smiled.

"One straight answer then: She is a self fulfilling prophesy. If you hadn't seen her today, she would never have come into your life. She would never have known of you, never have made wishes to you."

"And now?" Jareth asked.

"Now promise me a mirror curtain of embroidered Chinese silk. Red, with gold wire phoenixes."

"Since when do you have anything to do with phoenixes?" Jareth growled, thinking of how much he'd already spent on the oracle.

"Since they were so pretty and expensive—they're omens, right? Good omens. So pay up," Delphi said with a shrug, disturbing the pool. The woman's smile disappeared under the ripples.

Jareth began pseudo-juggling a number of crystals, considering if Delphi's extortion was really worth it. He decided that he could always tax the goblins into oblivion and offered Delphi another crystal. "And the curtain pull is _very_ expensive," he said as Delphi examined her prize.

"Jareth, you make me feel generous. Sarah Williams, born 1971 to an actress and a law student in the United States province of Pennsylvania. Her mother will leave and her father will remarry and the child you saw belongs to him and his second wife. The rest is… uncertain. You change her life fundamentally, Goblin King." Jareth gave a sweeping bow.

"Thank you Delphi, Great and Wise Spirit."

"It was my pleasure, Jareth, King of Goblins," she answered as he glitter-poofed away. Once in his study, he found his mail goblin holding something.

"Come five minutes after you left, King," it said. It was marked with Delphi's insignia.

_Jareth—_

_I took the liberty of also charging you for the sacrifice service. Best of luck with Sarah!_

_Delphi_

Jareth was grinding his molars when another mail goblin gracelessly splatted on the desk. "Letter!" it gasped.

_Dearest Jareth, his most Majestic Highness and King of Goblins,_

_I'm so looking forward to your visit! The lady Rachè and her most esteemed father Earl Prouss will be attending at the same time! You've had dealings in the past, yes? Her attention was so rapt on hearing you would be there she broke my finest teacup! And her father (you know how old and fat he is) stormed off to the fencing grounds! He must have been excited to see you to gain so much energy. Lady Rachè would speak of nothing else. She's free, and very pretty, you know! And I think her father already has opinions of you. Do come soon!_

_Her Grace and Excellency,_

_Duchess Reamorda of Hippogriffs and Pears_

Jareth scowled.

* * *

A/N: Thyine wood was a hard, dark, fragrant wood valued by Greeks and Romans for cabinet making. Let's see… Delphi never spoke a poem because I couldn't think of a poem for her, and I know that Delphi was the Island (hence, oracle of Delphi), but for ease I just decided to name the spirit that. And she cleaned out at least half of the goblin treasury—must be fun knowing the future to take advantage of nasty clients. And _Rachè_ is German for revenge (kudos to _A Study in Scarlet_). Thus ends the index of fun facts.

In Christ,

ZFF


End file.
